The following is a real commercial on real television, reconstructed by a real girl with real problems. Anything than writing an academic paper, anything. I highly recommend closing your eyes just enough to still read these words, but enough to allow a close encounter with a meditative state of mind.

Lush forests, cool breeze, a babbling brook gently rolling over old stones that line the bottom where baby fish live. Button-nosed beaver gnaws on felled trees, minding his own, playing his dutiful role as token beaver near token river, responsbile member of the wildlife clean-up crew. He chomps, reminiscing hours prior when he spied that fantastic babe of a beaver, the one with the nice dam.(OK, so that part was fabricated by me completely)

BAM! Instantly cut to burned out, alcoholic and unemployed animatronic beaver sporting massive, nicotine stained teeth, an evil stare and sparks shooting out of his claws (made up the claws too). In a flash, gentle creature turns into monster flying through air, hissing and growling and spitting furballs and splinters in every direction, he's going to kill the camera and oh god it is… so awesome. (cut to product shot, Band Aids) I laughed with such ferocity I stopped breathing and nearly peed in my seat. SO… that is my story. How was your day?

Oh, right, and I drew a picture for you.